The summer before I started college mostly felt like a daze--even when I was working. For the first time ever, I had absolutely no idea what was awaiting me in Rexburg, Idaho at Brigham Young University Idaho.
With such huge changes like that in my life, for some reason, day-to-day life becomes surreal as if my body isn't actually mine and I'm walking in a dream.
My friends from high school were getting together and traveling about with their new found freedom, but honestly, I wanted to stay as close to my family as I could. It was as if my mind was preparing me for them all to suddenly drop dead.
Ridiculous, I know. I was just grateful I could spend every moment I could with my family, savoring each second. (Wow...thinking back I was acting as if they were all going to die. However, I was happy to be the one leaving. I've never liked being left, and it felt empowering to be the first one to move away instead of my old friends from high school leaving or forgetting me).
So, now for my coworkers/boss.
I knew the business was pretty sketchy from the beginning with the sheer lack of professionalism everyone had—my boss did her best to be professional herself, but... yeah.
Being the newest I was the lowest on the totem pole. The pee-on.
Growing up I was taught how to clean, and how to clean well. I wasn’t a stranger to hard work, and (before my cousin came to work with me) I was always put with this one girl. When she learned I could clean twice as much as her in half the time, she kinda stopped. But, there was only ever two of us and if we took longer than 3 hours for a house—no matter how big or messy—our boss would yell at us. But, there’s only so much two can do in some people’s houses...
I learned how to take open, harsh criticism real quick. I don’t think I’ve ever been yelled at so much in my life. And I wasn’t perfect, but I worked hard and I cleaned well. And anything the clients reported was always the other girl’s assignment. Always. But I took it because I could tell there was no point in assigning blame. Plus I knew I was leaving soon.
Then I learned my boss was in debt to the majority of our clients and I started looking at my payments. Being a trusting person...sometimes to a fault...I didn’t think to check my payments. But she was paying slightly less and less each paycheck.
That’s when I gave my two weeks. I wasn’t going to keep laboring for someone who didn’t appreciate my hard work and didn’t keep her word about my paycheck. I saw the business coming to an end and I got out of there.
My boss called me several times months after I quit—even when I was in Idaho—asking me to come back. I told her no, obviously. I didn’t want to associate with the mess she had created and possibly get caught up in her legal issues. Heck no.
The funny thing is, they had no idea I was 17 until I told them. They all thought I was 23-25 years old. My boss always told me how much she loved how mature and hard working I was. And then yell at me for the other girl's mess. I’m glad I was able to see the manipulation there. It was another reason why I left.
For the most part, the other people were kind. I didn't get to know them as well, but they were always nice to me. The ones I worked with definitely knew how to say pretty words and act nice, but you could just feel the fake pouring off them.
I hope they are all in a better place in their lives. I don't know what each of them were struggling with, but I hope they're all a little happier and a little stronger. However, I still will never go back.
Always and Forever,
Natalie Carroll
